The 14 best songs of 2014.

I thought there was something cute about doing the 14 best songs of 2014. However, after whittling my favourite 20 to 15 and back to 26 its been a bit of a Sophies Choice, you know if her choice had zero consequence except making her look like an asshole for undermining other peoples struggles through hyperbole.

This final line up has been on my spotify for two weeks (rather fittingly) until I did my own personal Year in Music and realized how many songs have become such classics in my mind that I had completely forgotten how new they are. So here is my final attempt at the 14 best songs that were released in 2014.

Obviously this is purely subjective and you may disagree, if that is the case please feel free to redirect me to your blog so I can see things from your perspective, judge you in return and create some sort of pseudo-intellectual music wanker twitterstorm, that servers only to make us both feel moderately popularly while destroying our genuine sense of self. Ah the Internet!. If you would like to share your opinion in a loving and inclusive way and broaden my horizons please do so in the comments.

Please find below a Spotify playlist of all songs mentioned so you can listen along as you read.

  1. Next of Kin – Alvvays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOS2HcQ0soM

I have always found something intriguing about sounds which juxtapose heart breaking lyrics with an upbeat song, its been an obsession of mine since I first really listened to “A Town Called Malice”. It is probably for that reason that I am so attracted by this beautiful little song by Alvvays. This is a pretty little shoe-gazing pop song, but the subject matter, a loved one drowning clash so wonderfully, it is hard to know how to feel when listening. None the less it bounces along nicely with some beautiful sparse singing from Molly Rankin.

  1. Holy City – Joan As Policewoman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS5pjxseTQM

The joy that one feels either through love, music or religious fever is perfectly represented by this stomping Motown track. This feels glorious, from the moment I heard this track I wanted to throw up my hands and dance and let the music take me. To me this song is like finding the Holy City and falling in love. It has far more control over me that I do.

  1. Two Weeks – FKA Twigs

This song is pure filth and I adore it. The breathless falsetto, it compels you forward crotch first. I cant even tell if I am being pragmatic about this song because I know it is engaging my pants not my mind. I mean “ My thighs are apart when your ready to breath in” is probably the greatest lyrics this year.

Unfortunately the bridge sometimes sends my mind in this direction, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBMYow46LxQ which is a super buzzkill.

4. Queen – Perfume Genius

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7OSSUwPVM4

A fantastic fuck you to gay-panic. This grunt sampling queer empowerment ballad is a terrific accompaniment to any drag house stomping through an oppressive city as the dreary and normal cower from their fabulosity.

  1. Seasons (Waiting on You) – Future Islands

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5Ae-LhMIG0

This song has me completely baffled. Like a Prefab Sprout song sung by Elton John. Which is a perfect combination of my favourite musical elements. Also they rise to the challenge. This is a wonderful pop song. It is uplifting and feels like this guy is letting go of limiting himself for love. It sounds to good to be true, it doesn’t feel like it should fit in this year but it does. It is a thousand times more genuine than Pharrelles Happy track we all so pathetically clung too. It was here all along.

6. Walk this Way- Mo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHWr4WY9o24

Strut your stuff to this break thru scandi-pop badass. Here with all the confidence of youth she talks of ‘walking to the rhythm of the drums inside her head’. It’s a bouncing little tune of learning and growing and listening to your mam that you can dance to when you are off your box. Sure what more could you want.

7.Transgender Dysphoria Blues – Against me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEE7iw5WYJI

Viseral punk song about being trans and the fucked up response society sometimes has to peoples gender identities. It is so fantastic just like ‘Queen” by “perfume genius” to see members of the LGBT community hold a mirror up to the stupidity of exclusion. Its also just a fucking cracker of a punk tune.

Stand out line “ You’ve got no cunt in your strut”. For Laura Jane Grace to throw that back into the audience is so powerful, the ultimate reclamation of societies shitty insults.

8.Water Fountain – Tuneyards.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbiFcPhccu8

I recently put this on a mixed tape for someone and he hated it. I was godsmacked, I cannot understand people not falling over themselves to hear this. Maybe it’s the influence of the video but it sounds like a childrens song sung by a thousand different children with a million different ideas. And yet they are all strung together with the same inherent knowing, Like a weird international childrens musical zeitgeist moment. Im afraid that’s the best attempt I can make at explaining it.

9.Prince Johnny – St. Vincent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idllxjHbX7w

A pining love song for a tragically misdirected friend. More than a little reminiscent of chiquitita by Abba in both theme and the entry to the bridge. The many layers to this narrative and the music that backs it, particularly the bass makes it feel so dense and heady.

  1. Brill Bruiser – The New Pornographers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhhtSXk1c70

On hello Brian Wilson, welcome to 2014, make yourself at home.

This it a bang out the door wonderful introduction to the New Pornographers latest album. Its sunny and just fucking great craic.

11.Habits (stay high) – Tevo Lo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2LWWORoiM

I love this, probably because this is exactly how I would react if my girlfriend broke up with me. The pain in these vocals is also so telling, im mad for honest in music lads. I want to feel what the singer is feeling and really I am sold on this one. It does make a mockery of her song “I’m Not On Drugs” but to be fair, that song makes a fucking mockery of itself. I’m not saying the drugs are effecting her writing but if they were it might not be the worst thing.

  1. I – Kendrick Lamar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aShfolR6w8

There have been some terrible ‘samples’ of classic songs used in hits this year. One of the least forgivable being Aloe Blacc’s bastardisation of ‘Your Song’ and to be honest I am a bit of a purist but Kendrick Lamar’s use of ‘The Isley Brothers” “ That Lady” is on point.

Apparently written during a particularly difficult time in the singers life this is as blue sky empowerment song you are ever going to get. All the way down to his little old man dance in the video. Surely we all relish the opportunity to scream out ‘ I love myself” every once in a while.

  1. Just one of the Guys – Jenny Lewis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Irvcf6dCk-k

Jenny Lewis’ fabulous swipe at the inequity of expectation between men and women in the music industry. The men get to have twentysomething girlfriends while the women are expected to have babies and families. Wonderfully sold through its star-studded video.

  1. Breakfast – Kelis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR2ZWWJ91Og

This was my surprise favourite song of the year. Now I knew there was potential there based on Millionaire but considering most of my Kelis knowledge was based on Milshake I cant say I ever though she was going to make one of my lists. But here you have it. Kelis’s Food album was a standout album for me in 2014. It has variety, soul and its great for cooking with friends. This is one of my favourite tracks on it. So soulful and warm. I adore it. Give it a whirl.

Anyway chaps that’s my SUBJECTIVE OPINION (thanks internet for making that a necessity) on the best tracks released in 2014. If you like what you read or want to know more about lists and music feel free to follow me on Spotify or Twitter @greenissac

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14 BEST CHART SONGS OF ’14

Some key things to think about when discussing this year in music. Happy by Pharrell Williams was Number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for 5 weeks. This is by no means a record but weirdly this was a bit of a theme this year. Any song that got to number one took over so completely and stayed for so long that there were only 11 number one single this year. Here to help us remember those top songs is the wonderfully adorable ‘Us the Duo” with their roundup of the year in music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzrFtImnuqI

The songs I am about to list are not the 11 number ones in question but a selection of my favourite chart hits of 2014. For a song to qualify it music have made the billboard Hot 100 list at any number in 2014.

N.B. These songs are in my opinion, the 14 greatest songs that made it in to the billboard Hot 100 at any stage this year. This does not mean that I believe they are the best song released this year. That is next weeks blog.

Its going to be amazing.

 

 

  1. Bang Bang- Jessie J

From that clapping intro this song is a stomper. Anything that samples ‘Wham” is going to get my attention and with three of the biggest stars in pop howling it out together. This is the best pop collab since Lady Marmalade.

  1. Rather Be- Clean Bandit ft Jess Glynne

Though I was a bit irked by this song at first. Too polished, sounded strikingly familiar to the bridge of Emeli Sande’s Next To Me. The more I reviewed the yer in music for this post the more this song kept popping into my head. The layering is quality, the vocals are stunning and not autotuned to shit, which is a relief. All around uplifting, good track.

  1. All about That Bass- Meghan Trainor

Massive caveat: I do not agree with many of the lyrics in this song. Ok so on the surface this is a positive song which rails against standard ideas of beauty for women and obviously that it terrific. However there are a number of issue with the lyrics of this song, womens bodies are not ‘better’ because they have curves, or skinny or any particular. Womens bodies are brilliant regardless of how they look. A best implies a worst and that’s bullshit. Bodies are like snowflakes and everyone is a ride to someone.

Now: to the song. This is an incredible little pop song. Its tight, it has flow. It is bouncy and fun and I adore it,

  1. Shake It Off- Taylor Swift

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

I feel like this was Taylor Swifts year. I tried to avoid her for ages out of music snobbery but this new popstar fun loving Swift is brilliant. Her self awareness and confidence is so joyful. You do you Taylor.

  1. Fancy – Iggy Azalea

As my wonderful partner would say “There is nothing subversive about you being FANCY Iggy you are a privileged white girl from Australia”.

This is the most astute reading of this song I have ever hear and I cannot add anything more constructive to it. However, I will defend this unbelievable TUNE. From the intro of that synth line totally hooked.

  1. Happy – Pharrell

By now I am completely absolutely sick of this song, but considering its dominance of pop culture this year and also how much I liked it when I heard it first, it had to be included. It is also refreshing to see that there is another side to the man behind the most date-rapey misogynic piece of piss music from last year. Still would let him date my daughter, but in misogynist im going to ignore the underlying issues by being charming and encouraging women to smile.

I see through your shit Sir.

  1. Let it Go – Idina Menzel (Adele Dazem)

Idina Menzel was amazing in Wicked wasn’t she, do you think we could re-write the music from that but for kids? –some grown-up at Disney.

Yes, Lets do that, and make millions! Ta-dah!

That’s not a criticism. I love Wicked, I love Frozen, I love self actualization and empowerment and acceptance. It’s a winning formula.

  1. Everything is Awesome – Tegan and Sara.

Ok so the last few song choices have maybe been frustratingly positive, however I promise I am also currently writing a ‘total shit songs of 2014’ for all you cynics out there. But for the moment ‘EVERYTHING IS AWESOME”.

The verses here that Lonely Island provided are loads of funny and really silly and sure lets just embrace the madness.

  1. Magic- Coldplay.

I never really liked Coldplay but this song really caught me this year. I think if I was going through a break-up this would be the first song I would be playing on repeat. Its so gorgeous and pining. There is so much love in this.

  1. Do I Wanna Know? _Arctic Monkeys

Well look who grew up and still have their fingers on the pulse. Arctic Monkeys have always been so clever about the way they craft their sings and this is no different. The unusual rhythm and poetic pattern that made their first album so unique is back to life in this song, with run on lines and beats that stop you in your tracks.

  1. Boom Clap -Charli XCX

After writing “I Love IT” with Icona POP and featuring on “Fancy” by Iggy Azeala it was only a matter of time that Charli XCX punched her way into our heart. This song is destined to stick in many peoples mind long after 2014 as it was featured in the insanely popular emotional manipulation machine that is The Fault in our Stars. No doubt its legion of fans will keep this song on life support for many months to come.

  1. Take Me To Church – Hozier.

Re-appropriating someone else’s struggle for your own notoriety, who is this guy Macklemore?

As a big queer, I fairly obviously take issue with this. However, as a now lapsed Irish catholic homosexual I guess I empathize with the sense of this song and it’s a nice little fuck you that I can scream along to in the shower, so fuck it. Fire away there Hozier, though maybe chill out on the gay bashing in the video, it scares kids back into the closet and can be really detrimental to their emotional health. Best of luck with the career though sweetheart, you have a lovely auld voice on ya.

  1. The Hanging Tree- Jennifer Lawrence (written by Lumineers) 

This eerie little ditty is from the latest installment of the Hunger Games, a surprisingly watchable dystopian childrens movie. The song and lyrics are apparently in the book with music provided for the film by the Lumineers. This will no doubt be a hit (she says crossing her fingers and waiting for time to prove her wrong).

It is a creepy compelling tune. In the narrative of the book, from my understanding, it is a banned folk song. I like that it sound like that in execution. It sounds old and time warn and the tune is catchy and bleak. Congrats movie, you win at songs!

  1. Uptown Funk- Bruno Mars (Mark Ronson)

Do you remember in 2008 when Mark Ronson ruled everything. He had this crazy Pharell Williams-esque musicial Midas touch. Anyway, I really hope that this is the signal of his return to the top. This song (highly recommend by my awesome housemate Matt) is the bitches tits.

It bursts into action, I’m half expecting someone to scream BRICKHOUSE!

It sounds like the real deal some light but still rocking it Funk but with a little accessible pop buzz to get it in the door of 2014. I really enjoy this tune.

So that is it really. These are my favourite CHART songs of 2014. Soon to come are “the 14 Worst Chart songs of ‘14” and also ‘ the Best Songs of ‘14”.

 

Please follow me on twitter and spotify @greenissac.

Hope your year was fabulous and full of music.

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Alt Christmas radio show.

Hello peeps and welcome to another fabulous alternative Christmas with me Green Issac. im sure by now plenty of you are getting into the Christmas spirit, however I feel for many of us pendants and music freaks this can be dampened by the seemingly finite number of ‘classic’ holiday jingles. So for the next few hours I hope to introduce you to some of the best alternative songs to accompany those non-traditional seasons of love we are experiencing. So whether you are taking this holiday to denounce capitalism and the catholic church or just basking in the glow of their heteronormative reductive exclusionary light, there is space here for all. merry Christmas. !!!!!

I’M SO EXCITED, IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!

I know we said we would do a Podcast, but we are too lazy. Shut Up!

1.

So first off we have the ethereal Elizabeth Fraser of the Cocteau Twins with their incredible version of Frosty the Snowman.

2.

All the warmth of Christmas without the saccharine ugliness. Like when you don;t have that last glass of Baileys you know is totally going to make you vomit. short sweet and lovely

3. 

Famous for their overwhelmingly overplayed ‘Reach for the Sun’ (which is awesome) this choral group obviously fits perfectly into the holidays love for huge choral get togethers and white robes.

4. 

Sure a little pining from the dear auld Mr. Stevens to keep you going. it’s that nice now.

5. 

I like to pretend i’m listening to this on a gramophone but sure whatever gets you going I suppose.

6.

You really can’t go wrong with Annie Lennox. I mean what a legend, I could listen to her ad lib all day.

7. 

I know this is an oft repeated and well established christmas song, but its just terrific, i can not recommend going on a Pretenders binge highly enough.

8. 

Up next we have a bit of pop rock from the group who brought you both ‘Birdhouse in your soul’ (remember that, fucking wicked track) and i believe the theme to Malcolm in the Middle (citation needed).

9. 

SQUEEZE! Funniest band in the world. I think this might be one of the greatest Christmas songs ever.

10. 

Kate Bush is perfect every time of the year, without a shadow of a doubt but to be able to pull her out and throw her on a list at the time of year that is overwhelmed with trite cliches is such a gift.

11. 

Another goddess of music taking a refreshing look at Christmas, recorded in 2006 and so well after Blondie’s heyday Harry non the less gives a fairly rocking performance.

12. 

You don;t have to be rock to be alt, this song has never got the airplay it deserves. This should be the first christmas song to be pulled out.

13.

Holding on to music of the sound he pioneered with The Strokes, Julian Casablancas does a great job on not being bogged down by the expectations of the genre with this 2000s era sounding xmas tune.

14. 

At times heartbreaking and soulful this plea by James Brown that Santa goes straight to the Ghetto is sexy and honest and humbling all at once.

15. 

Now I can’t talk from personal experience but the Futureheads make a compelling case of an 80s christmas celebration.

16. 

Go on Temptations, I don;t think it matters what your sexual orientation that is a sexy sexy man voice. I just want them to sit and sing everything at me all the time.

17. 

Again not the most unique or original, we have all heard this song before but it deserves its place in the Christmas top ten.

18. 

As far as i know this was never officially released and is a gift for fans. I would definitely buy this though and m starting a petition for Gaga to do a christmas album.

19. 

For those of you not of the pop-tastic innuendo laden Gaga pop here is some classic Tom Petty. If i was in a Christmas this would be the song over the credits as I walk away carrying Santa over my shoulder.

20. 

Living true to my rule that a music list without Stevie Nicks is not a music list.

21. 

Quickly cover yourself in tinsel and dance, you know you want to. Christmas dance where have you been all my life.

22. 

No offense to George Micheal but nobody was convinced you were heartbroken, like maybe a little because you looked douch-ey in the video but this The XX cover really understands the agony of christmas heartbreak.

23. 

Is it just me or does this sound just like Pink Floyd, if i didn’t know this was LCD System, there would be no convincing me. awesome track.

24. 

Christmas songs should make you want to throw stuff, even if it is Matt Bellamy.

25. 

Like LITERALLY as Gay as Christmas! This makes my excited like when your drunk and Tina Turner comes on or Cher! Stereotypes for the win!

26.

Major thanks to Giselle for introducing me to this adorable little song last year. it is the sweetest. Feliz Navidad to all.

27. 

And last but not least, The Hive and the unbelievable Cyndi Fucking Lauper doing what i can only describe as an actually brilliant take on the ‘fairytale of New York’ format. Highlights include Cyndi lauper screaming ‘I went down on your mother’. I can think of no better way to celebrate Christmas.

Have a Great one guys, and lets spend spend spend this chri chris christmas together. xxx

 

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Alternative Christmas Playlist YEAR 2

Last year I was working in retail and as such was bombarded with obligatory torrent of Christmas ’classics’ from about mid-November. Now obviously this is ridiculously annoying for all humans and should be stopped as soon as possible. I mean be it little of me to undermine anyone’s Christmas traditions. However, they start so early and there are so very few of them that are repeated over and over and over!
So that inspired me to create a list of Yuletide jingles that perhaps don’t spend so much time on our airwaves put perhaps deserve it just as much. Now being human, I listened to them on repeat last year for the holiday session and now I am totally over them. So here is this years new and improved list. Maybe we could do this with all Christmas songs every year? Just a suggestion.
Obviously we are all just humans and are, like snowflakes, unique in our opinions and styles; isn’t that what makes the world worth living in. You may not agree with what is on this list, to which I say Hurray! Diversity! So, if you don’t agree, make your own list. Maybe we can talk about them and become friends.
So, without further ado, IT’S CHRISTMASSSSSS!

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Being depressed!

This week has been one of the bad ones. Not particularly heartbreaking or tough, nothing bad has actually happened. That’s the bastard of mental health issues. I know that there are going to be particular days that make me spiral, anniversaries of loved ones, birthdays, etc., you prepare yourself for these. It’s the days it sneaks up on you that are the killer.

I went out drinking on Monday so a bit of the fear the following day is inevitable. You know the usual ‘what did I do late night?’ “Who did I offend?” “Why do I do this?” that nonsense. Experience has shown me this affects most people. However it is Friday now and the fear has stayed. It starts off innocuously enough, like the little comments above; little niggles of self-doubt, questions about your social ability. (Am I a shit date? Did I embarrass myself?)

These, for me that least, are usually followed by a group text apologizing for my behavior, this guilt’s the recipient into telling me I was a consummate professional with nothing to fear. This momentarily elevates my fear until I realize I have undermined my performance of ‘charming witty companion’ the previous night and made everybody recall and rate my behavior.

 

Now I’m panicking! Why did I remind them, should I leave the country? ‘What if the think I’m a dick? Will my insecurity undermine the work I do with them?

 

Now I’m spiraling!

I understand for a lot of people this doesn’t ring true or even make sense but its weird, I can rationalize it away, I can understand its origins but I cant stop it.

This is the stage when eating becomes a challenge, I start reflecting on all the times I have embarrassed myself. I read a book to distract myself but realize I am daydreaming about all the times people have laughed at me. I put on the telly. I think about people I have hurt. I make coffee. I wonder if I will ever do enough good to undo all the hurt I have caused. I hoover. I think of the people who ‘expected great things of me’. I cook dinner, but realize I don’t have the entire ingredient. I contemplate leaving the house but it scares me. I write a poem about my feeling. I berate myself for being a cliché. I tell myself to cope the fuck on, that my educated white privileged existence has given me the luxury of enough space to have feelings like this and review them, while more deserving people die in war torn countries living through depravity. Now I’m upset cause I am a dick and the cycle continues.

I post comments on FB and delete them instantaneously incase I have to justify them. I don’t think I can fight today.

The logical side of me knows that these times happen; sometimes it’s a day, sometimes a month. I always get through eventually but that seldom helps in the throngs of it.

Writing this isn’t just a selfish labor of self-aggrandizing, I’m not writing it cause its different or new, I am writing it because I know that so many people we meet everyday are going throw just the same. That so many of us are spiraling down the well and it’s embarrassing and unacceptable to ask for help. I am ashamed to write this but I cannot tell people to be open about mental health issues by ignoring my own.

If you are not having a week like mine please acknowledge someone around you could be, please give them space to deal with it. Xxx

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Budget 2014

Today as you will undoubtedly know is Budget day. This is a day when rich people who you have employed to protect your interests take money out of your pocket and give it to people they believe are more important that you. Like their friend who work in bigger better jobs than you do. This is because as Machiavelli put it “a prince (government) is always compelled to injure those who have made him the new ruler”. To insure that their power remains “any injury a prince does a man should be of such a kind that there is no fear of revenge”. This, my dear friends, is what we are seeing today.  How can you defend your interests if you cannot afford to be healthy or strong? But hey enough about the ethical implications of our pseudo- democracy, you’re here for music.

The list that follows is, I feel, representative of the poverty and desperation felt by many of us in the last few years.  This experiences being impacted and in many cases exacerbated by todays budget announcements. So, if nothing else, it will give you a few songs what make you feel less alone in wanting to burn what few euro notes you have and escape into the wilderness. Maybe the realization that the best music comes from a struggle will make the day lighter. Or perhaps this list will just be less bollocks that listening to RTE.

Ghost Town- The Specials.

With the new reduced air travel tax I feel like it would only be fair to play this in every airport so all those new tourists will know what to expect.  Save your money coming here, but lose it on overpriced wine.

  1. Working Class Hero – Marianne Faithful

The most popular version of this is obviously Lennon’s original however, the snarly viciousness that Marianne brings to this song seems appropriate today.  “but you’re still fucking peasants, as far as I can see”.

3.Busted – Ray Charles

I wonderful little ditty about the desperation of not having a pot to piss in. Representative of all the people who had to leave without knowing if its going to ever be any better.

4.Allentown-Billy Joel

Corniest video in the universe. This song does however speak to the current generation of twentysomethings. Countless graduation photos lining the walls with nothing to show for them except student debt. At least there are some homo-erotic dancers to cheer us up though.

5. The message – grandmaster flash

Look, times are shite enough, without today. We might as well keep it hilarious. I don’t understand how a song about life being so terrible is so ridiculous, but it is. I think it’s the creepy laugh. Issues with paying bills and rising inflation ring pretty true though.

6.Career Opportunities-The Clash

The Clash looking at the bollocks situation of being offered a pathetic, soul destroying job by the Social and being forced to take it and be grateful. Part-time seasonal kitchen porter in a hotel on a island 2hours away from your house with no transport, anyone. (That really happened to me).

7.Village Ghetto Land- Stevie Wonder

I always found this song a strange departure for Stevie, kinda like ‘Dear Jessie’ by Madonna. Anyway this bizarre british-y Kinks sounding stroll through Stevie’s neighbourhood is as wonderful as it is eye opening. I was going to write a similar one but cant think of a rhyme for pigeon and junkie poo.

8. Tax Man-The Beatles

For the day that’s in it, sure. Isn’t it nice to see that nothing ever changes.

9.Talking about a Revolution – Tracey Chapman

This song might be a little trite and really is a causeless call to arms. I guess that is  what makes it so universal. Really I like it because I love the idea of poor people rising up and getting what is theirs. Regardless of how completely implausible that is. It is a nice dream.

10. Common People- Pulp

Poverty is shit! People thinking it’s the craic, is no better. This song is fucking Amazing! So lets dance, drink and screw, cause there is nothing else to do!

Except riot!

We could Riot!

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Slane Girl, we are better than this.

A young girl gives a blowjob to a guy at a gig, pictures are up loaded onto the internet and the web goes wild. Which begs the question, who hasn’t had embarrassing sex?

Maybe you were fortunate enough to be surrounded by real decent human beings who are not sexist or revel in others humiliation but you have been there. Don’t deny it. Maybe I am wrong, maybe you havn’t had terrible sex, congratulations, you may be an alien.  The concept of a person in Ireland having a healthy and fulfilling sex life is still a bit of a mystery to me. Sure it is possible but its similar to a lotus growing in the mud, we really have an issue nourishing that stuff. This is becoming more and more evident based on our reactions to anything sexual presented to us by the media. The discourse always seems to centre itself around polarising gender stereotypes with the man as the victory and the woman as the slut. That is if God forbid she displays any semblance of interest in the act. Imagine a woman with a libido, next thing you know we will have women politicians.

The thing I understand about this is the fact that as a repressed Catholic country we are relatively new to this whole sex beyond the bed room in the dark thing. What I don’t understand is how we jumped straight for the sexist objectifying of women in the media but completely skipped the educating children about the challenges they would face when discovering their own sexuality. I feel like someone really dropped the ball in that regard. I mean most people learn about sex in school in the most inane, scientific way. Really it appears to me only so then don’t think a erection or some blood means they are dying and then we throw some condoms (if they are lucky) at them, tell them its illegal and send them off. One can only imagine the damage we are doing to our LGBT youth that are completely ignored in this. Is anybody surprised that kid are involved in questionable sexual activities, I am certainly not. We shame young people into thinking their sexuality is sinful and yet expose them to torrents of sexual imagery. This leaves their education to be filled in by porn, don’t get me started on porn. This and the questionable tones of conversations we as adults have, set unrealistic expectations for teenagers that there is no way they can meet. They simple do not understand the consequences of what they are doing. This is something that we are constantly bombarding them with but not preparing them for.

I will give you an example, I recently spoke to a teenage who was recounting a night in a house party where friends of his defecated in a girls kettle, when I displayed my disgust, he said she deserved it for what she had done. The deed she was guilty of was getting her period while he was having sex with her. He was utterly astounded when we explained to him how disgusting his behaviour was and how he was completely unjustified in his response. Everyone else he had spoken to had agreed with him.

Let me ask, are you happy with that being the way that we are educating our youth? Are you comfortable with them being so alien to the working of each others bodies that they shame and taunt one another for being human? Is it ok that the standards set out by porn are the ones to which the next generation sets themselves?

I sure as fuck am not. I’m not comfortable with entirely hairless, prepubescent women. I’m not comfortable with young men who think that they need to throw a girl around the place to get gratification when all they really want is someone to hold them. I am not happy with gay children thinking they have to have painful upsetting sex with the opposite gender to fit in. I am not happy with Trans youth being forced into these damaging situations that inevitably ignores their gender expression.

Surely we have all suffered enough through dodgy one night stands, concert blowjobs, abusive relationships and humiliating sex to not want to hand this on to the next generation. Why not pool our collective wisdom and share it with teenagers. I can’t see any moral issue with going into schools and being honest. What we need is outsourced sex education so it is not left to teachers who feel uncomfortable and are not trained in the issue. We need secular sex education that respects all backgrounds and identities. We need to explain that sex is great. It is a fundamental part of being human and it is something that we need to respect about one another. We are really far behind and to get our youth back on track we have a lot of work to do but we can start with something as simple as this.

Sex is like dancing, you can do it with another, you can do it on your own, you can do it with a group. Sometimes it is terrible, other times its great, but it never works if you don’t listen.

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